I've been tired lately and haven't been making the time to blog, but I've missed it. I'm in a season of my life right now where there is just a bunch of life's junk being thrown at us, and we're trying to sort through it all without going crazy. I'm so glad I have such great family and friends to lift me up when I need it!
So we went to a new church again this past sunday. It was still part of the
Vineyard, but one of the plant churches. It's called the Vineyard NW. I really liked it. I was much more comfortable with the size, the child care, the people were all so friendly, etc. I also signed up for a daily devotional email the church sends out, and I have been really enjoying reading those each morning.
Derrick and I didn't enjoy the pastor as much at this church as we did the one at the Big Vineyard, but we're hoping with time that will change. We watched a few baptisms during the service, and what a change that was. They did baptism by emersion during the songs we sang, and they had the person/people that led them to Christ do the baptism. It seemed like such a special moment for a family to share.
Derrick is on the road today job hunting. He was meeting a recruiter in Beechmont this morning and then was going to go to several places and put his resume in and/or get the contact information of the right person to do that with.
Hopefully something good happens and soon. Things just continue to get worse and worse with Waffle House and he just needs to be out of there NOW!!!
The kids are both good. Gina has learned to squeal at a pitch so high and loud she could shatter glass. We are trying, unsucessfully I might add, to teach the concept of "inside voice".
Myles is still in a phase of wearing "blue pants" (his jeans) and asks for them every day. He even wants Gina to wear blue pants. It wouldn't be such a big deal if they weren't so big on his waist that he has to hold them up!!
So anyway, hope you are all having a good day.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
A larger force is clearly at work
When I read yesterday's daily devotion it was almost creepy enough to make me either cry or toss the book aside and never pick it up again. How does he KNOW what message you need?
So, I've become fascinated with this book. Today I decided that since we're in April I must have missed a lot already and decided to skim through the beginning of the book. I landed on January 4th.
It is entitled Worthless Worry. It says:
We worry. We worry about the IRS, and the SAT and the FBI...we worry that we won't have enough money, and when we have money we worry that we won't manage it well.....
Honestly now. Did God save you so you would fret? Would he teach you to walk just to watch you fall? Would he be nailed to the cross for your sins and then disregard your prayers? Come on. Is Scripture teasing us when it reads "He has put his angels in charge of you to watch over you whereever you go"?
I don't think so either.
Now some of you may know more than others how, shall we say, ironic that is. I mean, really.
So then I see January 5th. It's entitled A Complete Restoration.
At lunch yesterday Kim and I talked about how it's so easy to put on the "cosmetic front" of being a believer, but not really doing the work to make the necessary changes. That really hit home for me. I realized that most of my life I had been a Christian as it was convenient for me. If I needed something I was sure to call on God, but I didn't invite him to walk with me daily. It's time I do the work, as hard as it may seem now, to really invite him into my heart and make the changes I need to make to live up to his plans for me.
So, with that in mind, that devotion reads:
God loves to decorate. God HAS to decorate. Let him live long enough in a heart, and that heart will begin to change. Portrait of hurt will be replaced byh landscapes of grace. Walls of anger will be demolished and shak foundations restored. God can no more leave a life unchanged than a mother can leave her child's tear untouched.
This might explain some of the discomfort in your life. Remodeling of the heart is not always pleasant. We don't object when t he Carpenter adds a few shelves, but he's been known to gut the entire west wing. He has such high expectations for you. God envisions a complete restoration. He won't stop until he is finished. He wants you to be just like Jesus.
~~I mean, these devotions are not coincidence. It's so amazing to me. It's changing such small things. Today Myles wanted to turn on the sprinkler to water our grass seed. Knowing it was going to rain tonight, I didn't want him to. When he said why, I immediately replied "because God is going to water it for us". Now you all know that wouldn't be a typical response for me, as small as it is. And he gets it. He thinks it's so neat that God is going to do it for us. And Kim....he then said "yes...God will also make it night time and he put the stars in the sky". Do you remember that?
These are such exciting, scary, and wonderful times. Just today we had another "setback" and I'm so proud of myself for not falling into the trap. I know if I quit being bothered by the things that are thrown at me, that those forms of "attack" will most likely stop. If you're reading GOOTP, you saw in chapter three she talks about Satan using distractions to keep you away from God, then lets those distractions lead to addictions, and the addictions can ultimately cause destruction.
Money was definitely what was used to distract me. I let my own thinking patterns become addictive, to the point I felt they were close to destorying me. So today when Satan through another distraction my way I just didn't react. Just found another way around it. I have to say, I'm very proud of myself, and am almost glad that we *did* have the distraction, as frustrating as it could be, just so I got the opportunity to prove to myself that I can handle anything that comes my way.
It's amazing how in such a short time period my desire for more and more knowledge has become so strong!!
Derrick is probably wondering who abducted his anxious, fearful, and dare I say nagging wife and replaced her with someone that's calm...but I don't think he's complaining.
have a good night!!!!!
So, I've become fascinated with this book. Today I decided that since we're in April I must have missed a lot already and decided to skim through the beginning of the book. I landed on January 4th.
It is entitled Worthless Worry. It says:
We worry. We worry about the IRS, and the SAT and the FBI...we worry that we won't have enough money, and when we have money we worry that we won't manage it well.....
Honestly now. Did God save you so you would fret? Would he teach you to walk just to watch you fall? Would he be nailed to the cross for your sins and then disregard your prayers? Come on. Is Scripture teasing us when it reads "He has put his angels in charge of you to watch over you whereever you go"?
I don't think so either.
Now some of you may know more than others how, shall we say, ironic that is. I mean, really.
So then I see January 5th. It's entitled A Complete Restoration.
At lunch yesterday Kim and I talked about how it's so easy to put on the "cosmetic front" of being a believer, but not really doing the work to make the necessary changes. That really hit home for me. I realized that most of my life I had been a Christian as it was convenient for me. If I needed something I was sure to call on God, but I didn't invite him to walk with me daily. It's time I do the work, as hard as it may seem now, to really invite him into my heart and make the changes I need to make to live up to his plans for me.
So, with that in mind, that devotion reads:
God loves to decorate. God HAS to decorate. Let him live long enough in a heart, and that heart will begin to change. Portrait of hurt will be replaced byh landscapes of grace. Walls of anger will be demolished and shak foundations restored. God can no more leave a life unchanged than a mother can leave her child's tear untouched.
This might explain some of the discomfort in your life. Remodeling of the heart is not always pleasant. We don't object when t he Carpenter adds a few shelves, but he's been known to gut the entire west wing. He has such high expectations for you. God envisions a complete restoration. He won't stop until he is finished. He wants you to be just like Jesus.
~~I mean, these devotions are not coincidence. It's so amazing to me. It's changing such small things. Today Myles wanted to turn on the sprinkler to water our grass seed. Knowing it was going to rain tonight, I didn't want him to. When he said why, I immediately replied "because God is going to water it for us". Now you all know that wouldn't be a typical response for me, as small as it is. And he gets it. He thinks it's so neat that God is going to do it for us. And Kim....he then said "yes...God will also make it night time and he put the stars in the sky". Do you remember that?
These are such exciting, scary, and wonderful times. Just today we had another "setback" and I'm so proud of myself for not falling into the trap. I know if I quit being bothered by the things that are thrown at me, that those forms of "attack" will most likely stop. If you're reading GOOTP, you saw in chapter three she talks about Satan using distractions to keep you away from God, then lets those distractions lead to addictions, and the addictions can ultimately cause destruction.
Money was definitely what was used to distract me. I let my own thinking patterns become addictive, to the point I felt they were close to destorying me. So today when Satan through another distraction my way I just didn't react. Just found another way around it. I have to say, I'm very proud of myself, and am almost glad that we *did* have the distraction, as frustrating as it could be, just so I got the opportunity to prove to myself that I can handle anything that comes my way.
It's amazing how in such a short time period my desire for more and more knowledge has become so strong!!
Derrick is probably wondering who abducted his anxious, fearful, and dare I say nagging wife and replaced her with someone that's calm...but I don't think he's complaining.
have a good night!!!!!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
A blessed day
Today I received a huge blessing. I got a Study Bible and Daily Devotional. I'm excited about digging in! That actually seems somewhat strange for me to say. While I liked to think I was a good Christian, I didn't really have an interest in reading the Bible until now.
I had a rough night last night and got hardly any sleep because of it. I had one of those "thinking nights" where I couldn't turn my brain off long enough to go to sleep. I woke up feeling tired, worried and drained. So to have received this gift meant so much, and came at such an awesome time for me.
I really feel my heart opening and being changed. It would be easy to question why it seems like I have to keep going through struggles to bring me closer to God, but I also realize that I would not be learning or growing nearly as much as I am without them.
I'm hoping that as I continue to learn I won't continue to need such strong "wake up calls" from God and that I'll begin to hear him when he's whispering to me--not waiting for the loud shouts to get my attention.
We've been down a rocky road lately, but I hope the adventure of traveling it brings us to a better, brighter future.
It's so interesting to me that so many things have happened and come together the way they have the last month or so. I'm sure it's just the start of a long, but worth while journey.
Ally
I had a rough night last night and got hardly any sleep because of it. I had one of those "thinking nights" where I couldn't turn my brain off long enough to go to sleep. I woke up feeling tired, worried and drained. So to have received this gift meant so much, and came at such an awesome time for me.
I really feel my heart opening and being changed. It would be easy to question why it seems like I have to keep going through struggles to bring me closer to God, but I also realize that I would not be learning or growing nearly as much as I am without them.
I'm hoping that as I continue to learn I won't continue to need such strong "wake up calls" from God and that I'll begin to hear him when he's whispering to me--not waiting for the loud shouts to get my attention.
We've been down a rocky road lately, but I hope the adventure of traveling it brings us to a better, brighter future.
It's so interesting to me that so many things have happened and come together the way they have the last month or so. I'm sure it's just the start of a long, but worth while journey.
Ally
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I've taken to watching grass grow.
We have been trying to get our lawn back in shape so we can keep up with all of the retired old men that live on our street and do nothing but take care of their lawn. Yes, our grass is sad. It's full of dandelions this year and just not thick.
Derrick put down the fertilizer with weed killer, and just laid new grass seed. Now it's become my new hobby. I turn on the sprinkler every night and every morning go check it out hoping it looks slightly better than the day before. It's sad really.
And why are kids so drawn to sprinklers? Myles BEGS to run through it and Gina just laughs so hard she squeals and walks around the driveway in circles. She's like a wet dog after a bath chasing it's tail. She's so excited she doesn't know what to do.
It's funny how I'm now aware of things I didn't notice before, let alone care about. I'm trying to be more "present" and "just be". When I'm outside with the kids, I'm trying to actually enjoy them, toss a ball around, etc. That's what led to the realization that our front yard is not quite up to par. I think our grass and garden knows it's been abandoned by it's former green thumb care taker, and it's sad.
So, I'm hoping this year we get some nicer grass in, and we plan on digging up the garden and replanting it and putting some pots around. Should be fun. Or have I just gotten old?
Derrick put down the fertilizer with weed killer, and just laid new grass seed. Now it's become my new hobby. I turn on the sprinkler every night and every morning go check it out hoping it looks slightly better than the day before. It's sad really.
And why are kids so drawn to sprinklers? Myles BEGS to run through it and Gina just laughs so hard she squeals and walks around the driveway in circles. She's like a wet dog after a bath chasing it's tail. She's so excited she doesn't know what to do.
It's funny how I'm now aware of things I didn't notice before, let alone care about. I'm trying to be more "present" and "just be". When I'm outside with the kids, I'm trying to actually enjoy them, toss a ball around, etc. That's what led to the realization that our front yard is not quite up to par. I think our grass and garden knows it's been abandoned by it's former green thumb care taker, and it's sad.
So, I'm hoping this year we get some nicer grass in, and we plan on digging up the garden and replanting it and putting some pots around. Should be fun. Or have I just gotten old?
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Good for a smile
Monday, April 21, 2008
Another day of perfect weather!
It's just so beautiful!!!
I had a very productive weekend. Got some closets cleaned out and organized (I just wish I could find a neat way to keep our shoes since we ahve a small closet!!)and got some things together for a Goodwill trip...which I really will make one day.
Derrick was able to get some yard work done, and we planted some grass seed today. I hope it starts to grow soon-we had so many dandelions this year and lots of bare patches in the yard. Now that I'm outside with the kids so much I really notice all the outdoor things I didn't pay much attention to before, and Derrick's "honey-do list" is growing each day! lol
The kids had a great time with Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Larry today and Derrick and I really enjoyed our time away. It's the perfect time of year to get out and about alone!!
And a huge accomplishment for me? This morning I was feeling like I really needed that time with Derrick so he could once again reassure me and tell me everything was going to be okay. It's a role I've come to depend on him for, and it isn't fair...to either of us. Today as soon as I had that thought, I immediately had another thought (placed there by God, I'm sure), that I don't need Derrick, or anyone, to reassure me things are going to be okay. I KNOW they will be okay. I may not know HOW things are going to work out, but that's okay now. I've become comfortable with the fact that I don't have to know every detail of how/when/why. I can just have faith that things WILL work out. And what a blessing that is! (And a huge relief for Derrick, I'm sure).
Our time together today was so much more enjoyable without having to have serious conversations about what if's. I was totally able to just enjoy our time together and the awesome weather and leave all the other "stuff" alone for a while.
It's the end to another very fast weekend, and I'm wishing I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. I hate being stuck inside this time of year. Join the crowd, right??!
Have a good night!
I had a very productive weekend. Got some closets cleaned out and organized (I just wish I could find a neat way to keep our shoes since we ahve a small closet!!)and got some things together for a Goodwill trip...which I really will make one day.
Derrick was able to get some yard work done, and we planted some grass seed today. I hope it starts to grow soon-we had so many dandelions this year and lots of bare patches in the yard. Now that I'm outside with the kids so much I really notice all the outdoor things I didn't pay much attention to before, and Derrick's "honey-do list" is growing each day! lol
The kids had a great time with Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Larry today and Derrick and I really enjoyed our time away. It's the perfect time of year to get out and about alone!!
And a huge accomplishment for me? This morning I was feeling like I really needed that time with Derrick so he could once again reassure me and tell me everything was going to be okay. It's a role I've come to depend on him for, and it isn't fair...to either of us. Today as soon as I had that thought, I immediately had another thought (placed there by God, I'm sure), that I don't need Derrick, or anyone, to reassure me things are going to be okay. I KNOW they will be okay. I may not know HOW things are going to work out, but that's okay now. I've become comfortable with the fact that I don't have to know every detail of how/when/why. I can just have faith that things WILL work out. And what a blessing that is! (And a huge relief for Derrick, I'm sure).
Our time together today was so much more enjoyable without having to have serious conversations about what if's. I was totally able to just enjoy our time together and the awesome weather and leave all the other "stuff" alone for a while.
It's the end to another very fast weekend, and I'm wishing I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. I hate being stuck inside this time of year. Join the crowd, right??!
Have a good night!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Nothing much
to post tonight, just popping in.
We went to the Vineyard Community Church today, and it was really nice. Different, but good. It's just such a big place it can be really overwhelming, but this is coming from someone who has never much liked changed. I think we need to go a few times to just get used to it and feel comfortable, but I do think it's a good change for us and could definitely see us meeting some new friends there. I really enjoyed the conversational style of the message, and a few points really hit home with me.
We just got done with a grocery store run that seemed to take forEVER, took back Alvin and the Chipmunks and now the kids are going to bed.
Tomorrow Derrick and I will get some time to ourselves as Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Larry are coming over. We have no idea what we're gonna do, but that's okay. It's just nice to get out!!! Hopefully we'll have good weather...I haven't even checked. So far the weekend seems to have been a rain out!
I think at this point I'd be happy just parking the car at a park somewhere and taking a nap! lol
Hope everyone has a good night!
We went to the Vineyard Community Church today, and it was really nice. Different, but good. It's just such a big place it can be really overwhelming, but this is coming from someone who has never much liked changed. I think we need to go a few times to just get used to it and feel comfortable, but I do think it's a good change for us and could definitely see us meeting some new friends there. I really enjoyed the conversational style of the message, and a few points really hit home with me.
We just got done with a grocery store run that seemed to take forEVER, took back Alvin and the Chipmunks and now the kids are going to bed.
Tomorrow Derrick and I will get some time to ourselves as Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Larry are coming over. We have no idea what we're gonna do, but that's okay. It's just nice to get out!!! Hopefully we'll have good weather...I haven't even checked. So far the weekend seems to have been a rain out!
I think at this point I'd be happy just parking the car at a park somewhere and taking a nap! lol
Hope everyone has a good night!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Fun times
We all had a good day today. It's the first time in a long time Derrick is off on vacation. He stayed home with the kids yesterday and got to sleep in today. I guess it's good timing (or...hmm..maybe planning?) that he's off during the basketball playoffs. I decided to let him have a restful day today and since the kids and I were all antsy to get out of the house, it worked out. We first went up to Cincinnati Mills with the last minute idea of watching Alvin and the Chipmunks. We got some snacks and headed down to the theatre (yes, we were gonna sneak them in!!), but the next showing didn't start for an hour. So instead we went to Bass Pro shops to see the fish. Myles gave me a lesson...when did he learn about fish?? But he knew all about the sword fish and something else I can't even remember now. He's really gonna have to go fishing here one day soon!!!! He loves his fishing pole and watching fish...can you imagine if he actually caught one?
We then came home and ate some lunch and Myles and I ended up falling asleep while Gina took her nap. We then walked down to the school's playground and let them both slide, climb and run for a while. After that we grabbed a quick dinner and went to rent Alvin and the Chipmunks instead.
Now he's watching that and I'm gonna go enjoy the rest of the evening with Derrick.
Tomorrow we're going to go to the Vineyard for the first time, and I'm really excited about it. I think it'll be a great new church home for us.
Hope you all have a good night!!!
We then came home and ate some lunch and Myles and I ended up falling asleep while Gina took her nap. We then walked down to the school's playground and let them both slide, climb and run for a while. After that we grabbed a quick dinner and went to rent Alvin and the Chipmunks instead.
Now he's watching that and I'm gonna go enjoy the rest of the evening with Derrick.
Tomorrow we're going to go to the Vineyard for the first time, and I'm really excited about it. I think it'll be a great new church home for us.
Hope you all have a good night!!!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
It's Spring Time!
And I'm joining in and turning over a new leaf. I've had a spiritual awakening the last couple of weeks, and I feel so much better...so much more relaxed and positive!
In fact, I've received two emails from friends this week telling me how happy I seem and how it's so good to see me this way. It's so nice to hear that, but also makes me sad that I must have seemed so "down" before that. You all know me well enough to know I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so I guess it's pretty obvious to everyone around me when I'm not feeling myself. You know what?? It's totally draining and exhausting to worry so much. Seriously!!!
Derrick is not feeling well today, so we didn't get to have what has quickly become our "family time" outside for long today (although Myles somehow talked him into taking him to UDF), but it was still fun to be outside. Myles loves playing basketball and Gina just loves being outside. When we came home from Cindy's today Gina literally refused to go inside. She just sat down on the path to the door and wouldn't budge.
We then all came inside and gave the kids a bath. This was Gina's second bath in the tub with no bath ring. There's no going back now (unfortunately). She LOVES sitting in the water by herself and even keeps putting her face in. The problem? She keeps standing up. I tell her firmly to sit down and she just smiles and blows a kiss. That girl is a mess. She wasn't real happy when she did it again and just laughed and mama took her out of that tub and got her jammies on. A wet 18 month old is a slippery little thing!!! And how do they get so strong? Is she lifting weights in her crib after I put her down??
Tonight she was probably secretly practicing her grin and giggle to use against daddy tomorrow as he's staying home with the kids. Fortunately Myles is at an age where he can keep no secrets, so I know I'll hear about all of the "goings on". lol Just like I get to hear about all of the interesting things that happen at Cindy's house...well, at least the things that everyone ELSE does. He's not silly enough to tell on himself.
In fact this morning he told me that Brooke and Lydia got into Cindy's bathroom cabinet and dumped out all of those 'things that go in your ear' and made a big huge mess. Then he said that Cindy put cream in her mouth, but I couldn't get him to expand on that. Out of curiousity I had to ask. Yes, apparently Brooke and Lydia did in fact dump out a 650 count box of Q-tips all over the bathroom floor. And the cream? Cindy had to think and then started lauging and admitted then in a moment she thought no one was looking she indulged in a mouth full of whipped cream straight from the can. lol We should have known nothing gets past Myles (especially when there's sweets involved). He's better than a nanny cam. Tonight he cuddled up wtih me in the chair and asked me to put my arms around him. In about 30 seconds I looked down and he was sleeping. I just let him sleep in my lap for a while, as the chances to hold him are pretty rare now. What a good feeling it is to cuddle up with him and watch him sleep. As I carried him to his room (which is no small feat by the way) I thought about all of the times that I'd fall asleep with my dad at night and wake up in the morning and ask "how did I get in my bed last night"? It's amazing how fast time goes.
In fact, I've received two emails from friends this week telling me how happy I seem and how it's so good to see me this way. It's so nice to hear that, but also makes me sad that I must have seemed so "down" before that. You all know me well enough to know I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so I guess it's pretty obvious to everyone around me when I'm not feeling myself. You know what?? It's totally draining and exhausting to worry so much. Seriously!!!
Derrick is not feeling well today, so we didn't get to have what has quickly become our "family time" outside for long today (although Myles somehow talked him into taking him to UDF), but it was still fun to be outside. Myles loves playing basketball and Gina just loves being outside. When we came home from Cindy's today Gina literally refused to go inside. She just sat down on the path to the door and wouldn't budge.
We then all came inside and gave the kids a bath. This was Gina's second bath in the tub with no bath ring. There's no going back now (unfortunately). She LOVES sitting in the water by herself and even keeps putting her face in. The problem? She keeps standing up. I tell her firmly to sit down and she just smiles and blows a kiss. That girl is a mess. She wasn't real happy when she did it again and just laughed and mama took her out of that tub and got her jammies on. A wet 18 month old is a slippery little thing!!! And how do they get so strong? Is she lifting weights in her crib after I put her down??
Tonight she was probably secretly practicing her grin and giggle to use against daddy tomorrow as he's staying home with the kids. Fortunately Myles is at an age where he can keep no secrets, so I know I'll hear about all of the "goings on". lol Just like I get to hear about all of the interesting things that happen at Cindy's house...well, at least the things that everyone ELSE does. He's not silly enough to tell on himself.
In fact this morning he told me that Brooke and Lydia got into Cindy's bathroom cabinet and dumped out all of those 'things that go in your ear' and made a big huge mess. Then he said that Cindy put cream in her mouth, but I couldn't get him to expand on that. Out of curiousity I had to ask. Yes, apparently Brooke and Lydia did in fact dump out a 650 count box of Q-tips all over the bathroom floor. And the cream? Cindy had to think and then started lauging and admitted then in a moment she thought no one was looking she indulged in a mouth full of whipped cream straight from the can. lol We should have known nothing gets past Myles (especially when there's sweets involved). He's better than a nanny cam. Tonight he cuddled up wtih me in the chair and asked me to put my arms around him. In about 30 seconds I looked down and he was sleeping. I just let him sleep in my lap for a while, as the chances to hold him are pretty rare now. What a good feeling it is to cuddle up with him and watch him sleep. As I carried him to his room (which is no small feat by the way) I thought about all of the times that I'd fall asleep with my dad at night and wake up in the morning and ask "how did I get in my bed last night"? It's amazing how fast time goes.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A good day.
Had a good, fast, productive day at work today. Came home and quickly ate dinner so we could go play outside. I took a walk around the block with both kids...yes, Gina actually walked the whole thing!!...while Derrick stayed home and got some yard work done.
The kids were so cute...Myles took a basketball with him and dribbled it around the block; Gina kept stopping to pick up sticks, rocks, and everything else she could, and occassionally just choosing to sit down. At one point, she must have been especially happy as she just stopped walking and started dancing and clapping. lol
It feels good to be outside in the warm weather. Everyone is outside...cutting the grass, planting flowers, etc. The signs of spring!!
It makes me excited as I think about everything I want to do....get the garden dug up and replanted, paint the deck, the garage cleaned out, and maybe even sometime over the next couple of months remove the wallpaper in the bathroom and kitchen and repaint. We'll see about that one...removing wallpaper is no fun!!
Now Gina is in her crib listening to her lullabible CD and talking to herself. Myles is curled up on the couch fighting sleep. Derrick is still cleaning the garage (where does all that STUFF in there come from, anyway??!!).
I've been stayng up late the last few nights and I'm tired. It's hard to go to sleep when it stays light out for so long! I just had to watch the Biggest Loser Finale last night, and I'm so glad Ali won. I was rooting for her from the beginning. Tonight I plan on having a relaxing rest of the night and catching up on some sleep!!
The kids were so cute...Myles took a basketball with him and dribbled it around the block; Gina kept stopping to pick up sticks, rocks, and everything else she could, and occassionally just choosing to sit down. At one point, she must have been especially happy as she just stopped walking and started dancing and clapping. lol
It feels good to be outside in the warm weather. Everyone is outside...cutting the grass, planting flowers, etc. The signs of spring!!
It makes me excited as I think about everything I want to do....get the garden dug up and replanted, paint the deck, the garage cleaned out, and maybe even sometime over the next couple of months remove the wallpaper in the bathroom and kitchen and repaint. We'll see about that one...removing wallpaper is no fun!!
Now Gina is in her crib listening to her lullabible CD and talking to herself. Myles is curled up on the couch fighting sleep. Derrick is still cleaning the garage (where does all that STUFF in there come from, anyway??!!).
I've been stayng up late the last few nights and I'm tired. It's hard to go to sleep when it stays light out for so long! I just had to watch the Biggest Loser Finale last night, and I'm so glad Ali won. I was rooting for her from the beginning. Tonight I plan on having a relaxing rest of the night and catching up on some sleep!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Gotta love my baby girl
You know you're in trouble when the doctor warns you that you might want to take a very long vacation when your daughter turns three. lol She said..."I believe I called this one very early on".
This, of course, was said in jest after having a conversation about her progress (no, she's not saying 10 words yet, but trust me....when she starts to talk it'll be in full sentences, and lord help us all when we hear what's on her mind), and after Gina shot her a couple of her "looks". That's my girl. She'll carry a blankie around all day and smother you with kisses, but don't mess with her. She's gotta mean pout and can say LOTS with a look.
So anyway, she's 32 inches and 23 pounds....around 40th percentle for weight, 60th for height. She said she'll definitely be above average height, but I could have guessed that before she was born. She got out of her shots (and cost us another trip to the doctor) because of her temperature. She's still not feeling well today, but other than some drainage in her throat and it being a little red, nothing seems to be wrong. It must be viral. Although they did do a rapid strep test and the doctor actually wished the nurse good luck as she was coming in to do it. lol She told Gina to give her heck.
Then there's The Boy. The one that was nervous to take his sister to the doctor, because as the older brother he knows what's coming. We celebrated a good visit with a trip to McDonald's and we actually "ate in". Myles was so thrilled. It is sad when they begin to think that food comes from a window. haha
Then we dropped Gina off at home with daddy and ran some erronds. He loves being able to spend one-on-one time with us. He's such a sweet boy and made getting groceries a fun trip. And boy, how easy was it to just take ONE child somewhere. Holy cow, that makes a big difference. I think about those parents with just one kid and realize they don't know how easy they have it. (And also know parents of three or more think the same of me). But he too brought a smile to my face when on the way home, less than an hour later, he says "I wonder what Gina's been doing all day"...as if we've been gone for hours. I'm so glad they enjoy each other the way they do though.
Now it's off to spend the last few hours of my weekend enjoying myself before we prepare to jump back into the craziness of "real life" tomorrow and head back to work, preschool, and the sitters. Please cross your fingers that Gina doesn't get a temp tomorrow while at Cindy's. I should probably be staying home with her, but considering I'm about out of vacation time in APRIL, I'm trying to save it for true emergencies.
This is one of those weekends that made me wish I was a Stay At Home Mom.
I put the kids to bed before I sat down to write this...hopefully it's given them enough time to actually fall asleep so I can enjoy the box of candy I snuck in the cart at the grocery store without being "caught". Isn't that awful??!
This, of course, was said in jest after having a conversation about her progress (no, she's not saying 10 words yet, but trust me....when she starts to talk it'll be in full sentences, and lord help us all when we hear what's on her mind), and after Gina shot her a couple of her "looks". That's my girl. She'll carry a blankie around all day and smother you with kisses, but don't mess with her. She's gotta mean pout and can say LOTS with a look.
So anyway, she's 32 inches and 23 pounds....around 40th percentle for weight, 60th for height. She said she'll definitely be above average height, but I could have guessed that before she was born. She got out of her shots (and cost us another trip to the doctor) because of her temperature. She's still not feeling well today, but other than some drainage in her throat and it being a little red, nothing seems to be wrong. It must be viral. Although they did do a rapid strep test and the doctor actually wished the nurse good luck as she was coming in to do it. lol She told Gina to give her heck.
Then there's The Boy. The one that was nervous to take his sister to the doctor, because as the older brother he knows what's coming. We celebrated a good visit with a trip to McDonald's and we actually "ate in". Myles was so thrilled. It is sad when they begin to think that food comes from a window. haha
Then we dropped Gina off at home with daddy and ran some erronds. He loves being able to spend one-on-one time with us. He's such a sweet boy and made getting groceries a fun trip. And boy, how easy was it to just take ONE child somewhere. Holy cow, that makes a big difference. I think about those parents with just one kid and realize they don't know how easy they have it. (And also know parents of three or more think the same of me). But he too brought a smile to my face when on the way home, less than an hour later, he says "I wonder what Gina's been doing all day"...as if we've been gone for hours. I'm so glad they enjoy each other the way they do though.
Now it's off to spend the last few hours of my weekend enjoying myself before we prepare to jump back into the craziness of "real life" tomorrow and head back to work, preschool, and the sitters. Please cross your fingers that Gina doesn't get a temp tomorrow while at Cindy's. I should probably be staying home with her, but considering I'm about out of vacation time in APRIL, I'm trying to save it for true emergencies.
This is one of those weekends that made me wish I was a Stay At Home Mom.
I put the kids to bed before I sat down to write this...hopefully it's given them enough time to actually fall asleep so I can enjoy the box of candy I snuck in the cart at the grocery store without being "caught". Isn't that awful??!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Geeze, it's been a while...
You might want to go outside and see if pigs are flying....did *I* actually run out of things to say? lol
The kids and I went to church today and it was quite a sad and emotional sermon. Larrry is leaving the church, and today he was talking quite a bit about it and saying part of his "good bye". He starting crying at the end, and I can never stand to see a man cry...gets me every time.
However, recently I/we have thought about finding a new church, but Derrick was always very hesitatnt as he is so loyal to Larrry. When Derrick got so ill a few years back and Larry came to the hospital to check on him, that meant the world to Derrick. He's never wanted to leave JW because of him.
So while I am very sad to see Larrry go, I do think it's another form of God talking to me. I think I need to find a new church home with more couples with young children. We plan on visiting a couple and hope to find one we love.
I keep getting hit with this message of living in the season. Kim, it's obviously what your blog is about, and you have the bible verse on there as well. It's also what we studied about at church today. It's funny how sometimes you get bombarded with the same message, but you're still not sure exactly what to DO about it. Maybe there isn't anything for me to actually "do"...or maybe I'm just a little slow on the uptake. Regardless, we actually said a prayer about starting new beginnings, the fear we feel as we face them, and the lack of faith we have in God as he leads us on those journey's. I couldn't help but thinking of Derrick's job search and the fear and anxiety it brings me. Why can't I just have faith that God will never leave me or forsake me and to trust in his plan for me? And why do I think somehow that worrying and wondering about it is going to make things better??
The weather this weekend has been cold and rainy, so I've felt sort of stuck inside. After church we did go to Target for a diaper run, but that was about it. Myles asked me if he could get something to eat. I asked him what he wanted, and he said "popcorn". I told him that we have popcorn at home. He said, but that popcorn is yucky...this popcorn will taste much better. lol He's quick on his feet. Although, sadly, just like me he does already much prefer eating out than at home.
Little Gina doesn't seem to be feeling the best today. She's kind of clingy and fussy and feels a little warm. I have an odd feeling it's an ear infection as she's been congested the last few days. It's good timing for once though as we have her 18 month well check scheduled for tomorrow. Well, it may not be so much a "well check" this time, but at least it's already scheduled. 18 months. Can you believe it?? I so clearly remember walking her around the hospital hallways, so proud of my sweet girl.
She's really starting to love on her dolls and is becoming attached to her blanket. She loves giving and getting kisses and hugs. Right now she's walking around with a push toy that makes a lot of noise and is loving driving everyone crazy with it.
I'm also feeling a little sad that tomorrow is the first Monday we won't be going to a scheduled therapy appt for Myles. But I just got an awesome email from Megan, his OT, and she gave me lots of ideas and suggestions and offered to stay in touch. And her best suggestion...a timer for transitions. Marilyn, I know you can appreciate this one. Instead of just "one more minute" or "let me talk" the goal is to set a timer so he can visually see how much time is left. She recommended a couple that are supposed to be great for just this purpose, so we'll see.
He has found a new past time that we both enjoy. He loves brushing my hair. And it's not something I'll ever stop him from doing. I love having my hair played with, so I'm always happy to oblige. The scary thing is he also loves to do Gina's hair, and would rather look at "beautiful dresses" in the store than boy clothes. I think he's been around too many girls his whole life. lol
Hope you all have a great rest of the night. I'll keep you posted on Gina's appt.
The kids and I went to church today and it was quite a sad and emotional sermon. Larrry is leaving the church, and today he was talking quite a bit about it and saying part of his "good bye". He starting crying at the end, and I can never stand to see a man cry...gets me every time.
However, recently I/we have thought about finding a new church, but Derrick was always very hesitatnt as he is so loyal to Larrry. When Derrick got so ill a few years back and Larry came to the hospital to check on him, that meant the world to Derrick. He's never wanted to leave JW because of him.
So while I am very sad to see Larrry go, I do think it's another form of God talking to me. I think I need to find a new church home with more couples with young children. We plan on visiting a couple and hope to find one we love.
I keep getting hit with this message of living in the season. Kim, it's obviously what your blog is about, and you have the bible verse on there as well. It's also what we studied about at church today. It's funny how sometimes you get bombarded with the same message, but you're still not sure exactly what to DO about it. Maybe there isn't anything for me to actually "do"...or maybe I'm just a little slow on the uptake. Regardless, we actually said a prayer about starting new beginnings, the fear we feel as we face them, and the lack of faith we have in God as he leads us on those journey's. I couldn't help but thinking of Derrick's job search and the fear and anxiety it brings me. Why can't I just have faith that God will never leave me or forsake me and to trust in his plan for me? And why do I think somehow that worrying and wondering about it is going to make things better??
The weather this weekend has been cold and rainy, so I've felt sort of stuck inside. After church we did go to Target for a diaper run, but that was about it. Myles asked me if he could get something to eat. I asked him what he wanted, and he said "popcorn". I told him that we have popcorn at home. He said, but that popcorn is yucky...this popcorn will taste much better. lol He's quick on his feet. Although, sadly, just like me he does already much prefer eating out than at home.
Little Gina doesn't seem to be feeling the best today. She's kind of clingy and fussy and feels a little warm. I have an odd feeling it's an ear infection as she's been congested the last few days. It's good timing for once though as we have her 18 month well check scheduled for tomorrow. Well, it may not be so much a "well check" this time, but at least it's already scheduled. 18 months. Can you believe it?? I so clearly remember walking her around the hospital hallways, so proud of my sweet girl.
She's really starting to love on her dolls and is becoming attached to her blanket. She loves giving and getting kisses and hugs. Right now she's walking around with a push toy that makes a lot of noise and is loving driving everyone crazy with it.
I'm also feeling a little sad that tomorrow is the first Monday we won't be going to a scheduled therapy appt for Myles. But I just got an awesome email from Megan, his OT, and she gave me lots of ideas and suggestions and offered to stay in touch. And her best suggestion...a timer for transitions. Marilyn, I know you can appreciate this one. Instead of just "one more minute" or "let me talk" the goal is to set a timer so he can visually see how much time is left. She recommended a couple that are supposed to be great for just this purpose, so we'll see.
He has found a new past time that we both enjoy. He loves brushing my hair. And it's not something I'll ever stop him from doing. I love having my hair played with, so I'm always happy to oblige. The scary thing is he also loves to do Gina's hair, and would rather look at "beautiful dresses" in the store than boy clothes. I think he's been around too many girls his whole life. lol
Hope you all have a great rest of the night. I'll keep you posted on Gina's appt.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Just rambling
I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately...to a lot of you. I'm so glad I have such an awesome circle of friends and family.
Monday Stacey and I were able to get together with the kids. Our time together always goes so quickly, and it makes me so sad to think about her leaving. We've become really good friends, and I just know if we lived in the same town we'd grow even closer. But I know our friendship can survive her families upcoming move to Washington DC in just over a month, and I'm trying to be as supportive (read....not whine about her leaving) of her as I can.
We hope to get together again this coming Monday...Stace, let me know if we're still on.
Yesterday I felt like I had a day where some prayers were answered. I think I finally quit thinking so hard (quit trying to control everything) and things started falling in place. Again, I know I have a guardian angel out there.
I had been trying to figure out how to make working on Monday's a feasible option for the family for a while, and just couldn't see how it'd work with needing daycare...it just didn't seem worth it. Until it finally hit me that I can go into work to make up some of the time I'm short during the week while Marilyn and Larry are able to come over! Why didn't that dawn on me earlier?
And today I got to have a much awaited for lunch with Kim. Thank you for such an awesome lunch date, Kim. We really need to do that more often! (Whenever your new Fly Lady schedule allows you to pencil me in. lol) I love being able to spend some one-on-one time with you!
We're also really enjoying this weather. Derrick's new schedule has allowed him to be home the last several days from about 4 on. It feels really weird. :) He's been meeting us outside with a basketball, and I don't know who loves playing ball more... Derrick, Myles or Gina. Myles is getting very talented and learns sports related things so quickly. And little Gina just LOVES being outside. She walks around like she owns the neighborhood, which I'm sure she thinks she does.
Derrick has also been cooking us dinner, and Myles has been helping. Yesterday they grilled hot dogs (Myles got them all off the grill with a little help) and today they made spaghetti. Myles loved throwing the meat in the pan and helping to stir. It's cute to watch them do things like that together. Myles is always wanting to "help" (remember, he loves having JOBS!!), and is just so happy to be able to have such fun with daddy!
Well...I'm off to enjoy some "free time". Myles is in his room watching a Curious George DVD, and Gina is in her crib playing her Fischer Price aquarium and babbling to herself. She's so sweet to listen too. She's becoming quite the "girly girl", carrying around her pink blanket and wanting to play with dolls. The sitter said she's fitting right in with all of the "big girls" (about to be 3) doing all of their girly stuff. She walks around with a purse on her shoulder, pushing dolls in a toy stroller. lol
Funny, how they always seem just a little sweeter when they're sleeping, huh?
Good night, everyone!!!
Monday Stacey and I were able to get together with the kids. Our time together always goes so quickly, and it makes me so sad to think about her leaving. We've become really good friends, and I just know if we lived in the same town we'd grow even closer. But I know our friendship can survive her families upcoming move to Washington DC in just over a month, and I'm trying to be as supportive (read....not whine about her leaving) of her as I can.
We hope to get together again this coming Monday...Stace, let me know if we're still on.
Yesterday I felt like I had a day where some prayers were answered. I think I finally quit thinking so hard (quit trying to control everything) and things started falling in place. Again, I know I have a guardian angel out there.
I had been trying to figure out how to make working on Monday's a feasible option for the family for a while, and just couldn't see how it'd work with needing daycare...it just didn't seem worth it. Until it finally hit me that I can go into work to make up some of the time I'm short during the week while Marilyn and Larry are able to come over! Why didn't that dawn on me earlier?
And today I got to have a much awaited for lunch with Kim. Thank you for such an awesome lunch date, Kim. We really need to do that more often! (Whenever your new Fly Lady schedule allows you to pencil me in. lol) I love being able to spend some one-on-one time with you!
We're also really enjoying this weather. Derrick's new schedule has allowed him to be home the last several days from about 4 on. It feels really weird. :) He's been meeting us outside with a basketball, and I don't know who loves playing ball more... Derrick, Myles or Gina. Myles is getting very talented and learns sports related things so quickly. And little Gina just LOVES being outside. She walks around like she owns the neighborhood, which I'm sure she thinks she does.
Derrick has also been cooking us dinner, and Myles has been helping. Yesterday they grilled hot dogs (Myles got them all off the grill with a little help) and today they made spaghetti. Myles loved throwing the meat in the pan and helping to stir. It's cute to watch them do things like that together. Myles is always wanting to "help" (remember, he loves having JOBS!!), and is just so happy to be able to have such fun with daddy!
Well...I'm off to enjoy some "free time". Myles is in his room watching a Curious George DVD, and Gina is in her crib playing her Fischer Price aquarium and babbling to herself. She's so sweet to listen too. She's becoming quite the "girly girl", carrying around her pink blanket and wanting to play with dolls. The sitter said she's fitting right in with all of the "big girls" (about to be 3) doing all of their girly stuff. She walks around with a purse on her shoulder, pushing dolls in a toy stroller. lol
Funny, how they always seem just a little sweeter when they're sleeping, huh?
Good night, everyone!!!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Some pictures
Here are some pictures from the park this weekend. We had a good time, and it was so nice to be able to get out and enjoy the weather...especially before the bugs come!!!
Myles had a field trip to the Winton Woods Nature Preserve today, so I'm anxious to hear about that and how it went. Hopefully he had a good time!!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Spring has sprung!!!
Hello Sunshine!! I've missed you!!!
Today we probably didn't take full advantage of the weather, but we did walk down to the park at Welch Elementary. The kids both had a good time, and Gina is really starting to enjoy going to play as well. She loves to swing, and climbs up steps, loves to slide. It's so cute. Myles is also getting braver and attempting new things. If I was a good blogger I'd have pictures here to show you all (I did get some cute ones), but since my computer is not of this century, I can't do that here.
I was just so glad to be able to get outside and see other people out playing with their kids, walking their dogs, etc. It was nice to be able to sit outside in the warm sunshine for a while just enjoying the kids playing!
We had actually gone to Harbon park yesterday in an early attempt to get out, but came home covered in mud. Yuck.
Tomorrow Stacey and I plan on meeting up after our failed attempt last week. We don't know what we're gonna do, but it doesn't matter. We've become quite close in a short amount of time, and just look forward to spending time together before she has to move to Washington DC in a couple of weeks.
I am planning on canceling Myles therapy appt at least for tomorrow, and maybe for good. I'm thinking about going next week just to have some "closure" to the process, but then we'll probably stop. Now that the warm weather is here we will be able to get outside to parks more and hopefully keep having "sensory input" and a lot of chances to socialize that way.
Derrick will be looking for a new job, and we're also looking at second jobs. Most likely for him, since anything I'd do would have to be from home to avoid daycare costs, so hopefully he'll have a new job (or two) here soon. Please keep your fingers toes and legs crossed for us that he finds something he loves and provides us both with a greater sense of contentment and security. I'm actually relatively calm about the process as I do feel after some soul searching that this is what we need to do, and if God agrees, it'll work out and fall into place. And if not, we'll just have to look at other alternatives.
Now we're off to get the kids a bath and maybe enjoy some movies I got from the library a couple weeks ago and totally forgot about. We have the windows and skylights open and are enjoying the fresh air and warm breeze.
Today we probably didn't take full advantage of the weather, but we did walk down to the park at Welch Elementary. The kids both had a good time, and Gina is really starting to enjoy going to play as well. She loves to swing, and climbs up steps, loves to slide. It's so cute. Myles is also getting braver and attempting new things. If I was a good blogger I'd have pictures here to show you all (I did get some cute ones), but since my computer is not of this century, I can't do that here.
I was just so glad to be able to get outside and see other people out playing with their kids, walking their dogs, etc. It was nice to be able to sit outside in the warm sunshine for a while just enjoying the kids playing!
We had actually gone to Harbon park yesterday in an early attempt to get out, but came home covered in mud. Yuck.
Tomorrow Stacey and I plan on meeting up after our failed attempt last week. We don't know what we're gonna do, but it doesn't matter. We've become quite close in a short amount of time, and just look forward to spending time together before she has to move to Washington DC in a couple of weeks.
I am planning on canceling Myles therapy appt at least for tomorrow, and maybe for good. I'm thinking about going next week just to have some "closure" to the process, but then we'll probably stop. Now that the warm weather is here we will be able to get outside to parks more and hopefully keep having "sensory input" and a lot of chances to socialize that way.
Derrick will be looking for a new job, and we're also looking at second jobs. Most likely for him, since anything I'd do would have to be from home to avoid daycare costs, so hopefully he'll have a new job (or two) here soon. Please keep your fingers toes and legs crossed for us that he finds something he loves and provides us both with a greater sense of contentment and security. I'm actually relatively calm about the process as I do feel after some soul searching that this is what we need to do, and if God agrees, it'll work out and fall into place. And if not, we'll just have to look at other alternatives.
Now we're off to get the kids a bath and maybe enjoy some movies I got from the library a couple weeks ago and totally forgot about. We have the windows and skylights open and are enjoying the fresh air and warm breeze.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Evening the score with the skylight and life's lessons
Up until tonight it was Skylight 1: Lawary's 0. I think we're gonna come out ahead though. Derrick was finally able to get up on the roof today (what excitement with Max barking and Gina squealing), and I think the cause of the indoor raining is relatively simple. The weather stripping around the outside of the screen had stripped away, leaving just a small enough space for water to drip in. So Derrick has gone to the store in hopes of finding some weather stripping to replace it, and our problem *should* be solved. Yay! It'd be nice if it was so simple!!!
***A lot of thoughts and lessons from life came together for me today. I've realized how strong I've become, how much I can handle, and to become at least a little bit more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person. Crazy, huh? I think as a control freak when you feel like you're losing control, you...well, freak. But several things have come together for me this week to teach me that *I* am not in control. And the more I fight that the more out of control I'll feel.
I'm learning to be comfortable with where I am at this stage of my life, and REALLY realizing what's important. I've lived so much of my life worrying, wondering, and controlling I've limited my happiness and caused myself a lot of undo stress. I'm learning that you can be depressed and mopy all you want, but it's not gonna get you anywhere but tired and drained. While it's good to take a couple of days to be true to your feelings, eventually you have to CHOOSE to be happy and not let your life control YOU. YOU have to control your life...and when things seem out of control just realize you can only do so much and then the rest just has to be turned over to God.
I've also learned that just as God gives us all unique spiritual gifts, he also has a unique purpose for each of our lives. And instead of spending my entire life trying to plan the next phase, I need to enjoy where I am NOW. And while that may not be exactly where *I* would always choose to be, as long as you're working hard and building a relationship with God, you'll get where you need to be. Life isn't about attaining as much money, possessions, or status as you can, nor is it about climing the career ladder.
Mainly I've learned that close supportive friends and family are truly invaluable. It doesn't matter what you have in life if you don't have the love and comfort that those relationships bring you.
I feel so fortunate to have all of you in my life. My friends and family really are all I need to be happy.
***A lot of thoughts and lessons from life came together for me today. I've realized how strong I've become, how much I can handle, and to become at least a little bit more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person. Crazy, huh? I think as a control freak when you feel like you're losing control, you...well, freak. But several things have come together for me this week to teach me that *I* am not in control. And the more I fight that the more out of control I'll feel.
I'm learning to be comfortable with where I am at this stage of my life, and REALLY realizing what's important. I've lived so much of my life worrying, wondering, and controlling I've limited my happiness and caused myself a lot of undo stress. I'm learning that you can be depressed and mopy all you want, but it's not gonna get you anywhere but tired and drained. While it's good to take a couple of days to be true to your feelings, eventually you have to CHOOSE to be happy and not let your life control YOU. YOU have to control your life...and when things seem out of control just realize you can only do so much and then the rest just has to be turned over to God.
I've also learned that just as God gives us all unique spiritual gifts, he also has a unique purpose for each of our lives. And instead of spending my entire life trying to plan the next phase, I need to enjoy where I am NOW. And while that may not be exactly where *I* would always choose to be, as long as you're working hard and building a relationship with God, you'll get where you need to be. Life isn't about attaining as much money, possessions, or status as you can, nor is it about climing the career ladder.
Mainly I've learned that close supportive friends and family are truly invaluable. It doesn't matter what you have in life if you don't have the love and comfort that those relationships bring you.
I feel so fortunate to have all of you in my life. My friends and family really are all I need to be happy.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Are you scared?
I was giggling a little to myself in my own mind as I sat down to write this tonight. I really don't have anything of importance to say or mention, but I couldn't help but thinking "geeze...I bet people are scared to even check in and see what negative news I have now".
Fortunately today was a day of "no news is good news". I think we need several days...preferably weeks or months...with nothing major to report. Nothing that breaks, needs fixing, or goes wrong.
However I have to admit that I am not doing very well in terms of letting go of my anxiety and truly having faith in God that things will work out. I am a control freak that wants to MAKE things happen or know HOW they will happen. These next couple of days are going to be challenging for us, and we just have to pray, have faith, and rely on each other to make it through. And hey...if we happen to win the lottery, that'd be okay too! lol
It's also interesting to me that I never quite thought I was an "emotional eater", but I'm realizing I am. Not so much in the sense that I eat to feel better necessarily, but in the sense that I could care less what I eat when I'm stressed. Brownies? Who cares. It's been a rough day. Easter candy. Sure. Who has time to think about making healthy choices and working out when I can barely think at all.
I've also found my "vice". Some people smoke, some people drink, some do drugs or gamble. I sleep. I've been going to bed before 9 every day this week and loving it. Sure, it's easy to say I'm tired or had a long day, but really, sleeping is the only way to make myself stop thinking.
I guess it's in times of turbulence that we learn the most about ourselves. The things I'm learning aren't pretty, but at least I'm realizing them.
I'm so glad I started this blog. I didn't really consider myself a "journaler", but it's been nice to get on here and get my feelings out in writing. And I especially love the comments I receive. You have all been so kind and supportive and make me feel slightly less crazy.
Now I'm off to watch the DVR'd Oprah about the pregnant man. HOLY cow. Maybe I'll get a brownie too. But then I'm going to sleep.
Fortunately today was a day of "no news is good news". I think we need several days...preferably weeks or months...with nothing major to report. Nothing that breaks, needs fixing, or goes wrong.
However I have to admit that I am not doing very well in terms of letting go of my anxiety and truly having faith in God that things will work out. I am a control freak that wants to MAKE things happen or know HOW they will happen. These next couple of days are going to be challenging for us, and we just have to pray, have faith, and rely on each other to make it through. And hey...if we happen to win the lottery, that'd be okay too! lol
It's also interesting to me that I never quite thought I was an "emotional eater", but I'm realizing I am. Not so much in the sense that I eat to feel better necessarily, but in the sense that I could care less what I eat when I'm stressed. Brownies? Who cares. It's been a rough day. Easter candy. Sure. Who has time to think about making healthy choices and working out when I can barely think at all.
I've also found my "vice". Some people smoke, some people drink, some do drugs or gamble. I sleep. I've been going to bed before 9 every day this week and loving it. Sure, it's easy to say I'm tired or had a long day, but really, sleeping is the only way to make myself stop thinking.
I guess it's in times of turbulence that we learn the most about ourselves. The things I'm learning aren't pretty, but at least I'm realizing them.
I'm so glad I started this blog. I didn't really consider myself a "journaler", but it's been nice to get on here and get my feelings out in writing. And I especially love the comments I receive. You have all been so kind and supportive and make me feel slightly less crazy.
Now I'm off to watch the DVR'd Oprah about the pregnant man. HOLY cow. Maybe I'll get a brownie too. But then I'm going to sleep.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
A cute story
I have to share something positive or you all are going to run away screaming after reading my depressing blog day after day. lol
This morning I got to see Gina in all of her girly glory. As we got to Cindy's house she immediately wanted down. (Kind of nice coming from an overly attached mama's girl, but a little strange too).
The three bigger kids (Cheyenne and Sierra-Cindy's girls-and Myles) sat at the top step. Gina crawled up the steps (quickly I might add) as they all cheered her on. When she got to the top she turned around, sat down, and looked at Cindy and I with the biggest smile on her face like she was just so proud of herself and started clapping. And the three bigger kids clapped for her too.
Then, like the attention lover she is, she wanted to be put at the bottom of the steps to do it all over again...and again.
Since we don't really have any steps in our house, I don't get to see her do that too often. She has grown and changed so much the last couple of months and learned to do so many new things! It made me smile to see her mastering a new skill and to see her just eating up all of the attention she was getting.
Cindy said she follows the bigger kids around all day long. Probably bossing them around, but she didn't say that. lol
This morning I got to see Gina in all of her girly glory. As we got to Cindy's house she immediately wanted down. (Kind of nice coming from an overly attached mama's girl, but a little strange too).
The three bigger kids (Cheyenne and Sierra-Cindy's girls-and Myles) sat at the top step. Gina crawled up the steps (quickly I might add) as they all cheered her on. When she got to the top she turned around, sat down, and looked at Cindy and I with the biggest smile on her face like she was just so proud of herself and started clapping. And the three bigger kids clapped for her too.
Then, like the attention lover she is, she wanted to be put at the bottom of the steps to do it all over again...and again.
Since we don't really have any steps in our house, I don't get to see her do that too often. She has grown and changed so much the last couple of months and learned to do so many new things! It made me smile to see her mastering a new skill and to see her just eating up all of the attention she was getting.
Cindy said she follows the bigger kids around all day long. Probably bossing them around, but she didn't say that. lol
A prayer after a Tough Day
Today Derrick and I are forced to turn to God for peace and comfort as we're hit with some pretty rough news regarding his work. We're hoping that this is a blessing in disguise and possibly an answer to our concerns, even though right now it's hard to see the positive side.
Or maybe God has been trying to show us something for a long time now with all the events that have happened and we just haven't been hearing him. Maybe now he's just trying to knock louder and really get our attention.
Well God, you have our attention. Now we just need you to guide us the way you want us to go and help us see the path you want us to travel. That is what we're praying for now.
In the midst of all this, I'm just glad that we can turn to each other for support and some comfort.
God, please stand by us as we're feeling a little lonely and weak. Fill us with your strength. Help to show us all of our blessings and make us aware of all the uplifting things we have in our life.
Allow us to enjoy this beautiful spring day, the sunshine, and the beautiful flowers that are beginning to bloom.
Give us the patience and energy we need to deal with the challenges we face, and help us to feel the love and support of those around us.
Or maybe God has been trying to show us something for a long time now with all the events that have happened and we just haven't been hearing him. Maybe now he's just trying to knock louder and really get our attention.
Well God, you have our attention. Now we just need you to guide us the way you want us to go and help us see the path you want us to travel. That is what we're praying for now.
In the midst of all this, I'm just glad that we can turn to each other for support and some comfort.
God, please stand by us as we're feeling a little lonely and weak. Fill us with your strength. Help to show us all of our blessings and make us aware of all the uplifting things we have in our life.
Allow us to enjoy this beautiful spring day, the sunshine, and the beautiful flowers that are beginning to bloom.
Give us the patience and energy we need to deal with the challenges we face, and help us to feel the love and support of those around us.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
4 year old for hire
(or sale if the price is right)
Myles loves having "jobs". He reminds me of Shiloh...he's a "working boy". lol He always wants a job, and usually does them pretty well. He likes to clean up the floor, help get Gina dressed, squirt anything he can (tables, windows, etc) to clean them. He loves being busy and it keeps him happy, so I'm always able to think of *something* that needs to be done. lol
He had school today for the first time in a while because of spring break. I'm curious to hear about that. He's really been missing Mrs. Stewart.
Gina is....well, Gina. She's a tough cookie, that one. Also loves to clean and follow her big brother around...and do anything she can to annoy him. He wants his chair, she wants it too. He'll get up to move to a different chair, and now she wants that one.
We girls learn how to pester the boys at an early age...gotta keep you on your toes.
It's about time to go pick up the dynamic duo. Everyone says quitting time is at 5, but for us, it's just starting time. Now the real work begins!
Myles loves having "jobs". He reminds me of Shiloh...he's a "working boy". lol He always wants a job, and usually does them pretty well. He likes to clean up the floor, help get Gina dressed, squirt anything he can (tables, windows, etc) to clean them. He loves being busy and it keeps him happy, so I'm always able to think of *something* that needs to be done. lol
He had school today for the first time in a while because of spring break. I'm curious to hear about that. He's really been missing Mrs. Stewart.
Gina is....well, Gina. She's a tough cookie, that one. Also loves to clean and follow her big brother around...and do anything she can to annoy him. He wants his chair, she wants it too. He'll get up to move to a different chair, and now she wants that one.
We girls learn how to pester the boys at an early age...gotta keep you on your toes.
It's about time to go pick up the dynamic duo. Everyone says quitting time is at 5, but for us, it's just starting time. Now the real work begins!
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