Feeling Thankful

I know I mentioned a little while ago that I was feeling sort of overwhelmed by all of the heaviness in the world lately...so many sick babies, health issues, loss of loved ones, financial issues, etc.

I just wanted to share that I have been feeling SO much more thankful lately. I really am at a point that when I hear of things happening on the news I immediately become thankful for what I have. Not to say I don't have compassion for those going through those tough times, just that I am able to more easily recognize how truly blessed I am.
And I'm thankful for that.

Fear and anxiety used to rule my life and every waking thought. It's amazing how developing my relationship with Jesus has turned that around and tought me to be grateful....not fearful.
That's not to say that I think bad things won't happen, it's just that I've learned to not "borrow trouble" and worry about them. As my husband would say, I can cross that bridge when I get to it....and be confident, knowing that I'll get through it. No matter what it is.
I just have a sense of Peace. Confidence.

Instead of questioning the "what if's" or "why's" I can focus on the things I can control and the one thing that is much more productive. My relationship with Him.

What are you grateful for?

In a time warp....

I feel like I lost track of time and forgot what day it was. I am a routine-oriented person by nature, and while that may not always be exciting, it keeps me on track.
This week has not been routine.

My mom came into town from Florida, and we are so excited to see her. It's been since Christmas, which at this point, feels like a long time. Of course we made all sorts of plans for good times for us and the kids, but so far those have not worked out.
I should be experienced enough at this motherhood-stuff by now to know that things rarely go according to plan.
Instead of G-ma picking Myles up at school yesterday, we ended up watching HGTV and Oprah on the couch together with a sick little boy. Figures, huh?

He went back to the sitters today, but I ended up needing to get him after lunch and I decided to bring him to the doctor. That's always such a tough call, isn't it? It's like you don't want to waste a trip (and a co-pay) to have them tell you it's a virus, but at the same time you don't want to not go and miss something...especially when it's Friday!
Turns out he just has a stomach virus and a cold. But it all seems to come and go. He went from looking pathetic and miserable in the doctor's office to asking if we could go to the mall. Hmm.......

So I'm totally out of whack with missing work, having a sick child and enjoying time with my mom. I am glad it's the end of the week though and we have the weekend to get healthy.

There is a school carnival happening tomorrow that Myles is dying to go to...it's at the school he'll be attending Kindegarten in the fall. So here's hoping we he gets healthy and hasn't decided to share this virus with any of the rest of us.

Pictures

These are pictures from an Easter Egg Hung/Carnival at Myles' preschool yesterday and a trip to the park today....

Spring has sprung!!

Finally....winter is over and my favorite season is here.

We have been enjoying some mild weather this week and have gotten to do some fun things.

Derrick and I took the kids to the playground and he and Myles chased each other, raced the 50 yard dash, and I think there was even some climbing of a teather ball pole. Perhaps.

Myles also went for a ride on his big wheel and thought it'd be fun to bring our dog Max along. Max has become very out of shape over the winter. (Join the crowd, right??) So when Myles hooked Max's leash to the handle bar of his big wheel and took off, Max was huffin and puffin. But it made me giggle. Just the image of it all, not really the dog breathing heavy part.

And yesterday Myles started playing out back again with the girls that live behind us. I'm sorry to say they are not the favorite children I've ever met. I know that sounds awful, but geez louise.
First they were trying to "beat Max up" (what they said) as they poked him with a stick through the fence. Nice.
Then Myles came inside and told me "the girls want me to get them some candy from our house for them".
Yeah...nice try. I don't even share our candy stash with my own children.
And who orders someoene to go get them food when they are still at THEIR OWN HOUSE?

But anyway, I digress.

I'm just so happy that spring is here!

Although Myles said in the car this morning as we were blasting the heat in the 32 degrees temperatures:

"My school said it's going to be spring tomorrow. They're lying...it's freezing. It's not spring. Liars."
But he's not bitter or anything.


Happy Spring, everyone!!!

Let's all think HAPPY THOUGHTS

As I've been reading more and more blogs lately I continue to run across so many heartbreaking stories. People that have lost a spouse, an unborn child, a baby, a child, jobs, houses, etc. It's all just so sad. It makes me wonder, question. And it fills me with fear.

While on one hand seeing the great struggles others are dealing with helps me to realize how blessed I am, and I'm very grateful for that, it's also really taking a toll.
I can't help but to think about the what if's. What if that happened to me/to us? What would I do? Is God trying to prepare me for something that is going to happen in my own life? It's left me feeling a little weighted down, and for those of you that know me, you know I don't need any more help worrying.

I've also noticed today while visiting several blogs that I'm not alone in these feelings. I think a lot of people are also feeling unbelievably saddened by all of the loss...either their own or other people's.

So I wanted to take some time today to do what I was always told to do when I was worrying....

Think Happy Thoughts.

I want to share what I am happy about and what I am thankful for, and I'd love to see all the good things going on for each of you. So let's share!!

I'm so happy that I have two wonderful, happy, healthy children.
I'm so happy I never had to struggle to conceive those children.
I'm happy that I have a wonderful, supportive husband that can always make me laugh---even if I didn't want to. I'm so happy that he "gets me" and balances me out. And I'm really happy that he cooks dinner for us almost every night. :)
I'm happy that we both have jobs that both appear to be very stable.
I'm happy that I can reflect back on the last year and realize how far we've come, and I'm happy that I have so much hope for our future.
I'm happy that I have a family that supports me and is there for me. I've seen the difference a support network can make, especially during times of trial.
I'm so happy that things seem to be slowly but surely falling into place with the sale of our house and transition into an apartment.
I'm happy that I have friends that are just what I need them to be.
I'm happy that my relationship with God has grown so much this year and that I've been able to gain so much strength, comfort, peace, and confidence through that relationship.
I'm happy that we have everything we need...a place to live, food to eat, cars to drive, clothes to wear....so much more than we need.
I'm happy about so many things. Really. This last year I've grown so much, come so far, learned so much, become so much stronger. And I know it's just the start of the plans God has for me.

While I have not been a faithful follower of the Scripture Memory, I have been trying to learn scripture. And the one verse keeps coming up to me in so many places. All through blog land, in my prayers, and oddly enough I even saw it on a sign at Hobby Lobby the other night.

For I know the plans I have for you said the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.

I KNOW that the plans for my life have already been made, and I trust Him completely. The difference from before to now, is that now while I completely realize that things will not always be easy (far from it!!) or go the way I want, thought or planned, I have a sense of peace that comes from the knowledge that He will always be there for me to get me through any tough times, and that knowledge takes the fear of the unknown away.

I really am happy and feel such a sense of hope for our future.

What are you happy about?

Her first ponytail.....

She's such a sassy little thing.....

A riddle

What do you get when you take a 5 year old boy add a little bit of jealousy for his younger sister and a whole lot of silliness???

Our trip to Urgent Care

Yesterday morning when Myles woke up Derrick and I noticed his ear and neck were red. Seemed strange, but I thought maybe it was just from the way he was sleeping.
He said it itched, but I was in denail and thought maybe it was just because we brought attention to it.
He went to the sitter and while all the redness went away he had a very rough, emotional day. We weren't even sure he should go to school. He said he'd be okay though so he went and then came home and took a nap at the sitters.
I got there to pick them up as he was waking up. My sitter warned me not to be alarmed, but that Myles needed to go to a doctor.
I saw him and was pretty scared. His face--eyebrows, nose, lips, mouth, ears, neck were red and rashy and had raised bumps. He lifted his shirt and showed me his side, and it looked the same way. And he couldnt' stop scratching.
I took him to a Take Care clinic inside of Walgreens, which I've used many times before and had a good experience.
When we got inside she asked him to take his coat and shirt off, and I almost cried. His whole torso, back, and arms were covered in this horrible rash and he had welts everywhere.
She looked at me and explained she couldn't treat him there and that I needed to get him to Urgent Care.
Fortunately, there is a children's urgent care very close and we were one of the first ones there, so we didn't have to wait long to be seen.

I was very worried about him as the Nurse Practitioner at Take Care said she was concerned about his throat swelling and affecting his airway and I just couldn't understand what this was and why it was spreading so fast.

Turns out it was something pretty minor and very common. Hives.

Seems silly now. But I had never seen hives covering a person like that. I had MRSA a couple months ago and before I knew that's what it was I went to the same clinic. I kept thinking...if they can treat MRSA and can't treat this it must be really bad. I'm so thankful it was only Hives.
We still don't know what caused it---they suspect Strep although the rapid strep test came back negative, but I don't think that's it'. He's old enough to say his throat hurts.

We ended up being there until after 8 o'clock. We hadn't been home, so the kids hadn't eaten, I had no diapers for Gina who was soaking wet, and it was past there bedtime. It was just a miserable night.

This morning I let the kids sleep until they woke up on their own and then gave them a bath and went into work a little late. My sitter has already called though and said he's just miserable. Not necessarily from the hives, I think he's just tired. He keeps telling her he just wants to go home and sleep in his own bed. He asked her to call me and when I talked to him the first thing he said is "Mommy, I'm grumpy".
I feel so badly for him. Poor guy. I'm hoping he gets to feeling better quickly and am thankful it's the beginning of the weekend so he can rest and recover at home.

The dentist

Myles went to the dentist today, and finally we had a good visit. They tried to do x-rays and he was more than willing, but he kept gagging when they put the film in his mounth (he's always had a really strong gag reflex) so they said they'd just wait until the next visit.
He had his cleaning and did so well. And it went really fast because she said they looked awesome...hardly any buildup. Yay!
He even got to pick out TWO toys for being so good!!!

Finally, one of us made it through with no cavities!

They also had this really cool toy in there that they got out for Gina, but she wasn't interested. Myles fell in love though. It was a wooden toy that was like a maze that had magnetic balls in it and then covered in glass. And then it had two "pens" that had magnets attached to the outside, so you could pull the magnets through the maze. IT was really cool--I've never seen it before. I may have to try to find something like that for him. He would have stayed there all day to play with that thing, and he's not usally that much of a "toy kid"....just cars!

So yay for no cavities!!

The Circus!

We went to the circus yesterday and had a great time. Here are a few pics...two of Gina that morning, but they made me laugh, so I'm throwing them in.

Two quick thoughts first:
1). How does it make sense that you can buy an adult ticket for 22 dollars for the "lower section" and get a child in free OR you can buy an adult ticket for 17 dollars for the "upper section", but then children's tickets are 5 dollars each. I may not be a mathematical genious, but that adds up to the EXACT same amount the way I figure.
And what the heck is a 2 dollar "facility charge"? Online tickets were either 15 or 20 dollars...not 17 and 22. And I had a coupon for buy an adult ticket get a kid ticket free...which you could only use if you were buying tickets in the LOWER section....where they were giving away kids tickets anyway!! So what the heck good is a coupon?
2) So after feeling a little bummed about the price of admission, what in the world made us buy a FOUR dollar Snocone? Look at the size of it below! And that was just to have Myles say "that's okay, I don't really want the ice". Boooyyy....you better eat that ice...and like it! lol

Forward only?

Yesterday Derrick went to leave work and his car would not go in reverse. It just wouldn't do anything.
He ended up having to have it towed out of the garage to street level, at which point he found that it would go forward. Hmmm...that's not good.
So, I called a few places when I got home from work and ended up talking to one very nice guy his took his time to explain some things to me and was just very professional and sincere.

Although it was hard to like him too much as he was telling me we needed a new transmission.
For our Acura. Which isn't just your average bear when it comes to any parts, transmissions included. This is the car we bought used and still paid a lot for with the hopes it'd last forever.
Apparently that year was a "bad year" for transmissions in our model though. Of course it was. Let me just say this is a VERY expensive fix. Very. Exensive. Plus we need a new timing belt. Also not cheap.

I want to joke about how we could probably avoid getting it fixed if we just wanted to make a lot of left turns from now on or about how it's not bad to only go forward and not backward in life, but the same isn't true about a car, I wanted to share some random thoughts I've had.

Bear with me, as this is long, but I need to get it out for my own sake if nothing else.


1. My first reaction was not to totally freak out. It was "well, God has a plan for us and I have to trust him on this one". Do you know how huge that is? A year ago I would have had a heart attack and my world would be ending. I'd be up all night crying, not sleeping and having panic attacks. And I'm not teasing.

2. Thank God this didn't happen a year ago. Not because of what I just mentioned above but because we would have had NO. WAY. to pay for this. None. However, my husband lost his job about a year ago, and since then we've done a lot of things and worked very hard to change our budget and save as much as we can, including him getting a second job. While I have to be honest and admit I am very sad and bummed that we may need to deplete almost all of that savings, I have to acknowledge the fact that it's there. We have a savings that can cover this.

3. While praying (!!) God was good enough to give me back my memory verses.
1st one was:

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I know that he has plans for us and they are not to harm us. I know he wants to give us a future. While I'm a little upset that this is costing so much money to fix, I know that we will still have a bright future and this will turn around for us. Because it just has to. I just hope that as much "bad luck" as we've had the last couple of years that we have just that much "good luck" in the future.

The 2nd one was:
Faith is being certain of what we hope for and certain of what we can not see.

Right now I'm struggling because I want certain things for our future I can't see. I don't know how we are going to get out of certain holes and really rebuild once and for all. But I have faith. And I know that just because I don't know HOW it will happen doesn't mean it won't.

4. People can say "what a bad time for this to happen", but really I don't know that it is a bad time. I have no idea how His hand has already been on this situation. For all I know the transmission was supposed to go out 6 months or a year ago and He kept that from happening until we did have enough in savings.
For all we know instead of just not being able to put the car into reverse when it was in a parking garage a bad accident was avoided.
I trust in His timing even if I don't really like it today.

5. At the end of the day this is a car that needs to be fixed. And money will fix it. How many people have the type of problems that they WISH money could fix? So many problems can't be fixed without money. Maybe I should be happy that something that "simple" can fix this problem. I still can't stop thinking of sweet Cora Paige and how her parents would pay ANY price to have her back. A transmission seems so small in comparison.

6. We all have our weaknesses. Those sore spots in our life that make us feel anxious or sad or angry. The Enemy knows each of our weaknesses. He knows mine well. It's money. It's what makes me feel secure and it's what reassures me that things will be okay. I know he uses it against me. I know he waits until there is a "smooth patch" and brings it up to me again. But I also know that when it no longer has a hold on me...when I no longer let it affect me the way it used to...it will stop being used that way. This situation was like a mirror to me...letting me see my reflection and how much I've grown in my relationship with Christ. I did not become desparate and angry and anxious and filled with fear. There is no fear in me. I know HE is behind me. Supporting me. There is nothing to fear.

7. And lastly, God never promised us a smooth ride through life. But he did promise us a safe passage into Heaven. This is but one small bump in the road.

Is it okay if I just hope we hit calm waters for a while?

Can I just tell you how sweet he is?

My little boy melted my heart yesterday and I have to share it with you all. Maybe it'll make you smile and it'll help me remember. These moments are hard to remember amongst all the chaos of day-to-day living!

I have to first tell you that Derrick took Myles to the mall on Saturday night to play. On the way home he gave Myles 1.50 and told him to hold on to it until Tuesday. He said he'd pick Myles up from school on Tuesday and take him back to the mall.

So fast foward to yesterday- I go downstairs to do laundry and the washing machine is broken. After we just spent hundreds of dollars repairing our dryer last month. I was so frustrated and already thinking about the money it was going to cost. It was one of those times where the kids say something or ask for a drink or some other minor thing and you snap.

So I told him a little later that I was sorry I yelled at him, that I wasn't angry at him I was just frustrated by the situation and I didn't mean to get upset with him.
We had the following conversation:

Myles: I know. You're upset about the washing machine cause it's going to cost lots of money to fix.
Me: Yes, that's all it is. I'm sorry I yelled at you.
Myles: How much will it cost?
Me: I don't know. Hopefully not much. Keep your fingers crossed it's just a little money.
Myles: Well, if you can find my wallet, you can have the money that's in it to fix the washing machine.
Me: Melting. How sweet is that??!
Myles: But you can't have my money for the mall. Is that okay?

I just got such a kick out of that.

Then later he really wanted to go somewhere. We had forgot to get a couple of things---mainly toilet paper---when we went grocery shopping the day before. So I told him we could go to Wal-Mart. He asked if we could go to the "Green park" afterwards (the one by our house). I told him maybe if he was on his best behavior.

So, we get in the store, I get the TP, of course start looking around and the kids are irritating each other. Gina keeps turning around to look at Myles and tease him and try to touch his head, etc etc etc. Meanwhile Myles is trying to grab her hand and keeps whining "quit hitting me".
So I threaten no visit to the green park.

Myles tries to be really good, so he pretends to fall asleep. He does have the toilet paper behind his back so he's probably pretty comfortable.

A little while later I notice he's doing a REALLY good job pretending. And then I see the drool coming out of his mouth. Score! He's asleep. And Gina has no one to bother. Except me and she keeps sticking some sticker she found on my hand and pulling it off, but I can shop through that.

I may be buying TP on all future visits to the store!!!!

Thank goodness the band stopped...

I no longer have a marching band playing in my head...at least that's what it felt like the last couple of days with all the throbbing and tenderness.

Don't know if it was the Neti Pot, the antibiotics or the sinus medicine I broke down and got as well, but I woke up this morning and could actually lift my head off the pillow without being in pain!

Thank goodness! Because while I didn't feel well enough to actually do anything, it was also driving me crazy not to do anything. Can you relate?

So I think this morning I'm going to get caught up on a couple things around the house and then maybe head out to my new favorite store...Old Time Pottery. I found some STEALS there last week and want to go back to look for a couple more things. Hopefully this time my children act like children and not wild animals like they did last time we were in the store.
What is it about being in a store full of breakable things that brings out the crazies in little people?

And my favorite quotes of the day so far (considering we've only been up a couple of hours):
Myles: "mommy, Jesus told my heart not to be so mean to my sister".
Rather he "gets it" or not, I don't care. Anytime we even think about "not being so mean" is a good thing for me. And I guess for Gina too. lol

Myles:--running in so excited he can barely stand it-"mommy, Gina just did something all by herself. She blew her nose without my help and snot came out. ALL BY HERSELF. Are you so proud? Look at her--she's over there...and she BLEW SNOT. Gina come here and show mommy how you did it!!"
Meanwhile Gina wonders in completely oblivious as to what's going on and hands me a little piece of toilet paper.
Myles picked her up, swung her around and said "I'm so proud of you"!
It's the little things, right? lol

Hopefully this doesn't mean she's getting my cold though. Somehow I don't think she'd let me "neti pot" her.

The Netti Pot

So I've heard about this contraption for a while...actually I first saw it on Oprah. I got the sense it would probably work well but that I'd never be desparate enough to use one.
That lasted until last night. I have a sinus infection that came out of no where. I really wasn't even congested at all first. But on Friday when I"d bend over I'd get that tell-tale throbbing in the back of my head.
By Saturday I was in a lot of pain. After talking to my mom I decided to give it a try.
I didn't think I did it right actually cause I didn't have any "drainage" after using it, like I was told I probably would. Made me think, maybe this isn't really from a sinus infection afterall?? Who knows.

But this morning when it was time to use it I let Myles watch. I knew a 5 year old boy could truly appreciate and enjoy what most people would think is gross.
He was amazed, needless to say.
Although he did tell me "that was nasty" when I was done. haha

Unfortunately my head is still hurting and my stomach isn't feel well either. But fortunately I am off tomorrow so I still have another day of rest.

Oh...and about the showing on the house....they didn't even come in. Guess this wasn't "the one" after all. Oh well. I know what is meant to be will be.