I was giggling a little to myself in my own mind as I sat down to write this tonight. I really don't have anything of importance to say or mention, but I couldn't help but thinking "geeze...I bet people are scared to even check in and see what negative news I have now".
Fortunately today was a day of "no news is good news". I think we need several days...preferably weeks or months...with nothing major to report. Nothing that breaks, needs fixing, or goes wrong.
However I have to admit that I am not doing very well in terms of letting go of my anxiety and truly having faith in God that things will work out. I am a control freak that wants to MAKE things happen or know HOW they will happen. These next couple of days are going to be challenging for us, and we just have to pray, have faith, and rely on each other to make it through. And hey...if we happen to win the lottery, that'd be okay too! lol
It's also interesting to me that I never quite thought I was an "emotional eater", but I'm realizing I am. Not so much in the sense that I eat to feel better necessarily, but in the sense that I could care less what I eat when I'm stressed. Brownies? Who cares. It's been a rough day. Easter candy. Sure. Who has time to think about making healthy choices and working out when I can barely think at all.
I've also found my "vice". Some people smoke, some people drink, some do drugs or gamble. I sleep. I've been going to bed before 9 every day this week and loving it. Sure, it's easy to say I'm tired or had a long day, but really, sleeping is the only way to make myself stop thinking.
I guess it's in times of turbulence that we learn the most about ourselves. The things I'm learning aren't pretty, but at least I'm realizing them.
I'm so glad I started this blog. I didn't really consider myself a "journaler", but it's been nice to get on here and get my feelings out in writing. And I especially love the comments I receive. You have all been so kind and supportive and make me feel slightly less crazy.
Now I'm off to watch the DVR'd Oprah about the pregnant man. HOLY cow. Maybe I'll get a brownie too. But then I'm going to sleep.
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5 comments:
Ally,
I know exactly what you mean about being an emotional eater! Some people can't eat when they get stressed...I can't imagine that?!
I am here for you if you need me....always remember that! I am SO sorry you are having such struggles and I wish I had a magic ball to look into to see how eveything will all work out. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Mom
Ally,
I hope you guys have a great relaxing weekend. And sleep is always good for helping you refresh and wake up with a brighter view of the world. I have enjoyed reading your blog.
Melissa
Ally, you had me laughing as I started reading that. I DO not have fear when I come to read your blog lololol! We are all human, and this life has so much negative that we all have to deal with. It is amazing how good it is to get our feelings out isn't it?! It's theraputic, it's educational...it's very good for us. We aren't meant to bottle our emotions up! I know that you have so much to face, but just remember you aren't alone. And keep this thought in mind...(I have to tell myself this often...) "It can always be worse...be thankful that it isn't...
Ally,
I know this is a tough time. I would like to wave a magic wand and make everything better, but I am not sure that would be the best answer in the long run. As difficult and nasty as it seems, we have to learn to develop our own resources to get us thru these times.
I am such an emotional eater (happy,sad,relaxed,stressed) it doesn't matter. And, regardless of what people say, it does make me feel better to eat. It has been so tough for me to finally admit I am addicted to food-it is my drug of choice.
I know so many people that sleep when in crises. I don't think it can be labeled good or bad-just another coping mechanism our bodies have. Use it when needed.
I will certainly keep all the Lawary's in my prayers. I am only a phone call and a short drive away! Let's make it a point to have lunch sometime. We never get our chatting done on Mondays.
Love you,
Marilyn
Lunch would be great! We'll have to plan that!
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