What will they remember?

I've been thinking about that question a lot lately when it comes to my children. What are the moments they will remember once they are grown?
As most people that have kids in their lives can probably relate to, my children are very different.
Myles is crazy smart, loving, rambunctious, funny, sensitive, athletic, slow to warm up to people, cautious and so much more. He's a little more of a homebody. We are very similar, but yet very different also. I think that Y chromosome kicks in from day one. lol He knows how to push buttons. He likes a reaction. My challenge is to not give into it.

Gina is a social butterfly. She's full of hugs and kisses and loves to make us laugh. She's always done everything at her own speed. She's a bit of a princess that way. In fact she didn't sit up until she was 10 months old, although she'd use more strength pushing back against your hand supporting her than it'd take to sit up. She loves people and life. She loves to be on the go. She's a people pleaser.

Recently Myles and I were talking at the end of what I thought was a very good day, filled with fun. I was a little hurt that it turns out he seemed more impacted by the couple of times he pushed my buttons and I lost my patience than by all of the good times.
My first reaction was "I can't believe I do so much for you and all you can remember is the couple of bad times....that you caused for that matter".
But then I had to stop and think.
As an overly sensitive girl myself I can relate. Maybe we all can. I think it takes lots of positive encouragement to outweigh the negative choices we may make. Not just with our children, but with everyone in our lives. Think about your relationship with your spouse or significant other. You tend to remember, and maybe hold onto, those times that they hurt us much longer than those times they did something for us. Right?
Instead of being hurt by what Myles seems to remember most I'm choosing to use that as a lesson and grow from it. I'm constantly trying to learn not to just "react" but to think first. It can be hard. Really hard.
Sometimes after a "situation" I stop and think about what any "witnesses" must think about what they just heard and saw.
I feel like those little glimpses into my life don't represent me and the kind of person and mother I am. I'd lay down in traffic for those kids. Yet that's probably not what I just showed to those around me.

But then I have to stop and think about two things:
1--there is ALWAYS a witness to our behavior. Our Lord sees everything. He has entrusted me with these children and I've realized lately what a blessing they are and how quickly it could all be gone. I want to be the mother I was born to be. I want to make God proud of my choices and I need to go to him with that frustration and ask for the strength it takes to not just react. It's so easy to just REACT.
2-Isn't it amazing that no matter how many bad choices we may make or how frustrating we can be at times our Heavenly Father still loves us and encourages us? When I think about the love I have for my kids I get a tiny idea of the love he has for me. What do I remember? All the good things he has done for me, or the times things didn't work out the way I thought they should? Is He thinking "after all I"ve done for you, this is what you remember?" No.

As different as we all are, I know He loves us more than we could imagine. Lord I ask that you give me the strength and knowledge to parent my children the way you parent me. Give us a lifetime of love and happiness and lots of happy memories. Let the good times outweigh the bad.