Random Thoughts

Random thoughts for a random day. Derrick's first day went really well. Great actually. He worked 5-2 and then 3-9. Better him than me is all I can say! I don't know if I could do it!
Today we have another long day. He works until 3 and then I'm leaving early to take Myles to an appt. at 4:30. So we'll swing by and pick up Gina and bring her to daddy while we do that.
Then I have my second night of bible study tonight at 6. Hopefully I don't miss much, if any of that. It was cancelled last week due to the power outages and I missed a big part of it the week before that.
I'm looking forward to that. To the fellowship time it brings and to a time dedicated to getting closer to God.
It's funny, these last couple of days we've had some really postive changes, yet I just feel, well, blah. I've had some struggles lately with Myles and some things going on with work have just left me feeling sort of low and defensive. Misunderstood. I think we all have times like that.
The good part is I know God is with me, and I know I can turn this all over to him. I know that through him I can be restored, re-energized, and lifted up. It's just a matter of taking the time to lower the wall I've built around myself and spend some much needed time with him.
I am having some revelations about myself through this expereince though. I've realized the past few months have made me skeptical. I'm cautious to fully accept good news for fear that there is a "catch". I've become doubtful of people and less trusting.
This is such a crazy time in our world with everything happening in the economy, the potential bailout plan, etc it feels like everything is just a little haywire.
What I've realized though is I kept thinking things would be smoother "when". When Derrick found a job. When we settled on an apartment. When we got moved. When the house is settled. Now that one of those "whens" has happened I think I'm realizing that there will always be more.
Always something else left undone or uncertain. That's why it's even more important to enjoy every season in life and not let anyone steal our joy, right?
Somehow today just feels like it should be a cloudy, cold, grey day so that I could have stayed home and in bed all day just curled up and licking my wounds, but it's a beautiful sunny day today.
So, I think I'll spend some time at lunch talking to God and getting my thoughts together.....